A New Year Prayer For the Elderly

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, 
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

 

How to Quit Smoking

Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.

“I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,” Ken responds.

“I'm in the process of quitting,” replies Peter with a grin. “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”

“Phase one?” wonders Ken. 

“Yeah,” laughs Peter, “I've quit buying.”

 

Facts and Trivia About Snow

  •          Every snowflake has its own unique shape and is different than all other snowflakes. 
  •          All snowflakes have six sides. 
  •          Snowflakes aren't always white. Years ago, when coal was used in factories and homes, snow was often grey because the coal dust entered the air and was absorbed by the clouds. 
  •          The largest snowflakes ever recorded fell in the state of Montana in the United States of America. The snowflakes were 15 inches in diameter. 
  •          The snow capital of the United States is Stampede Pass in Washington State. Each year, the average snowfall is 430 inches. 
  •          The average snowflake falls at a speed of 3.1 miles per hour.
  •          It is a blizzard when you can't see for ¼ mile; the winds are always 35 miles an hour or more, and the storm must last at least 3 hours to be classed as a blizzard. If any of these conditions are less, it is only a snowstorm. 
  •          Billions of snowflakes fall during one short snowstorm. 

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