It’s always a treat when Windy Wilson stops by the Mule Barn for a cup and a visit with us. He got all settled in while we waited for him.

 “Now you fellas know it shore ain’t perlite to interrupt a guy when he’s educatin’ the kids, right? A real gentleman wouldn’t do it. But that didn’t slow down this weird young guy who was visitin’ one of our hometown girls.

 “I think she met him in college where he was majorin’ in bein’ wrong, and brought him home to meet the folks. The way it was, I had a few kids I found coming out of the malt shop and I kinda herded them over to this year sidewalk bench so I could ‘splain how school used to was back in the day, you know?

  “So in the midst of my dislertation, this weirdo guy walks up and says to me that I shouldn’t be tellin’ them kids about workin’ hard because that’s jest how the gov’ment gets ahold of ‘em and makes ‘em into slaves. Hey, I’m not klddin’!

  “Then he starts in to lecturin’ them, and me, about how we have too much stuff and need to share it with other folks. Now that ain’t bad, I guess. I don’t mind sharin’ Seems right. But then he says we don’t have the right to own anythin’ at all.

  “I had me a look to see how these year kids was ascorbing this nonsense and I saw that Garcia kid wasn’t happy. He jest got a brand-new bike last week or month or somethin’ and he thought he ought to keep it.

  “So, bein’ the on-the-spot grown up, I ups and asks weirdo what he would suggest we all do about it, and he looks straight at me and tells me to go dial an electric materialism!

  “Took me kinder flat-footed there for a second, but I rallied. I puffed up a bit and straightened HIM out. I said, ‘I ain’t gonna do it!’”

  Windy paused.

  “Besides, guys, I shore didn’t know which number to dial.”

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Brought to you by Strange Tales of Alaska, available now on Amazon.com.

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