Holy Humor

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city  because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.  Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll  miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this  note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled,  "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter  answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

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The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!